~ An Angel without Wings ~

† Soul Searching

Sep. 6, 2006

As you can see I haven't been keeping up with my blog entries. I've been here and there, lost everywhere... partying, getting myself into trouble, working out my body, training in music productions, freeing myself from torturous relationships, catching up with my artistic past, and ultimately looking for the truths to my life.

Ever since I joined the military, all the dreams I have ever had - have been decaying slowly within my concious.

Carrying myself upon the newfound strengths within my military experience, I've been refusing to realize how weak I've actually become...lying to myself everyday that I am okay. In truth, I'm not okay.

Everywhere I go, everything I do, I refuse to be normal. I am one of those esoteric few of whom refuses to exist without leaving a renown mark into history. And so, in this path...the path I that have chosen, I walk alone. It's time to do some serious "soul searching" of what I really want to die for and who I will become in doing so. My time in the military is almost up. And with these mental scars, I honestly don't know what will happen in my return to freedom.

Dreams - the source of my internal motivation, the reason why I still exist today... What will all my dreams have meant if I were to just throw them away now after carrying them inside my concious for so many years?

"What does the word DESTINY mean to you? Because to me, it means EVERYTHING."

MAKE A COMMENT!

Sep. 6, 2006 - soul searching?

Posted by hediko

and that's a good thing to do. Everyone needs to do a little of soul searching once in a while. There are moments I feel we're truly content already and then there are those, when we feel completely lost. I hope you find whatever it is that you're soul searching for. Hope you get to come back to freedom, soon. I hate war more than anything else.

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Sep. 17, 2006 - hey you!

Posted by Anonymous

i told you, that your not ok...! (tears)... but like you said it's almost over...until then be STRONG...you are a tough guy...(tears)...Chue yee how have you been in the other side of the world...? Here in mn has been doing a lot wrong...seems like the world is coming to an end...(tears)...hhhh, i can't believe you didn't call me to say good bye... i called phong that wednesday morning and he told me you left that early morining, when i he told me, my heart dropped to the floor tears were running down my checks driping onto my hands wondering, "who am i going talk to when i'm on break at work just to make my day better...?(tears)...after, through the day it was fine until i reciever the cd you send me...it mad me cry again!(tears)...! these last couple of days since you"ve gone, i've been having dreams about you...! i don't y...but i'm hopeing you'll be strong and come home soon...if you read this, then it proves, your alrite and is home safe...!^_^...you have a good nite...and i'll see you soon...! i miss you!
later!
-mai lee yang-

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Sep. 27, 2006 - hello!

Posted by Anonymous

you look so sad! =( are you okay? well just drop to say hi! =(
<br>mai lee

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Oct. 31, 2006 - hey chueyee

Posted by Anonymous

well it's already half a year! n i still miss you much! i'm wondering wat your doing cuz so far you haven't wrote any letter bak home! hey guess wat, i'm so bad, cuz i'm starting to go clubing more often now! but i still haven't drink yet! ^_^, anyways hope your doing well! later aligator!
mai lee yang

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Nov. 2, 2006 - how you've been?

Posted by Anonymous

funny how phong always remind me of how i crused you? and your not coming home! Lol, he's such a dork! So how's the war treating you on the other side of the world? hhh i'm so sad lately chue yee! i feel like everything is all a ly, i still can't believe your there and i'm here! feels like it doesn't make sence at all! feel so lost in love, with a messed up guy! lying to him and to myself...! nothing is fair these days! i'm just hanging out with little moments, doing something for a moment then something else the next...seems kind of fun!=) k well you take carez...muah! miss you

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Nov. 14, 2006 - =(

Posted by Anonymous

my stars are fading away! the stars your suppose to look with me! hurry up! i miss you!
mai lee

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Nov. 19, 2006 - i miss you

Posted by Anonymous

hey chueyee! how you've been? i want to talk to you so much! work is so boring for me now, that i have no one to talk too! someone i want to talk to don't even want to talk to me! he hates me! sad, i know, but i got you, ^_^ that's what count the most! so come home soon! it's ganna be a blast...dude, i wanted to quit my job but i never do cuz i'm waiting for you come watch movie with me! ...^_^... k i hope your doing fine! love you much!
-mai lee-

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May. 29, 2007 - i'm happy your back home

Posted by Anonymous

so your back...??? how does it feels??? u seem so busy???^_^... but i'm glad you made it home safely... there's so many things that have changed... i'm not myself anymore... anywayz it seem like it's all a dream... well everything is just a dream... and you know what dreams comes true... lolz... hhh aren't you ganna miss san deigo??? come on you have too, at least a bite...ahaha... there's not ganna be much on mc donalds for you... biG n tAsty...ahahah...well it's good to know your doing great... enjoy life while still young...everything will be alrite...=) smile navy boy...

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